Stupid red bugs

Where the hell are all these little red bugs coming from? Jezus! They're all over the side of the house! One of them even got IN MY ROOM!!!! It was flying all over like it owned the place! Leesah smacked it so that's ok but still, IN MY ROOM??? Everyone tells me that they don't bite or really do anything at all and that's fine but one of the things they do is swarm all over the side of the house and FREAK PEOPLE OUT. God! Gross!!!!! Ohmygod. Now I'm going to have bad dreams, I just know it.

But at least it's almost Autumn and then we won't have to worry about bugs for a few months except for the ones that are already in the house. Bastards. I think we should have the whole place fumigated. Take THAT!!! Have you ever wondered if there's someone secretly peeking in on your computer screen just to see what yo're up to when you're trying to type?

I've got her lipstick!

I'd better be the first one to put up a notice that Leesah, my BEAUTIFUL WIFE, has a blog now. I can't do links, so here's the address: http://whosgotmylipstick.blogspot.com

And before any of you smart-asses think I'm kissing up, I say nice things about my wife and give her compliments even when I'm NOT in trouble and when I DON'T want anything in particular. THAT'S how to be married and stay that way. Try it sometime.

There! Behind you!

Hey! Look at me, doing a blog post ALL ON MY OWN without anyone yelling at me to go do one. We're supposed to all get set up with email accounts today and all that stuff. I mean, we had email before, but not...that is, it couldn't reach...but then they tweaked the planarnet and...

Ohmygod, I don't understand what any of these tech geeks are talking about. I appreciate them, but I don't understand them at all, no matter HOW much time I spend sitting in my thinking chair. But whatever they're doing, it's supposedly going to be a lot of fun. I can't imagine my life getting any MORE fun! Oh my god. That's it, I need a drink.

Nilly is on a rampage

Because I never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never write in my blog. Like he keeps HIS up every day.

And Slurpy is STILL pooping glitter! That is so wrong.

But it's nice out, so Slurpy and I are going walkies in a few minutes. THEN I'm going to come in and have a shower. And THEN I'm taking my wife to dinner. Top THAT!

Someone remind me again why I'm doing this?

Because I've only got one real comment so far, and that was Nilly Rambus telling me to watch out for the spambot things. Then today I got another comment, this time from one of the spambot things! Lucky I knew how to take care of that! (It was like a military drill around here for a couple days, "In case of Mr. Spammy, you must be prepared to click the picture of garbage..." so we all knew exactly what to do.)

But anyway! Whatever. This blog stuff is a lot of work. I'm not seeing a whole lot of payoff yet.

I feel like the guy in Eraserhead

it's 7:00 in the morning, and Im still awake. The good TV shows are gonna start in a few minutes. I wish that Steve had never left Blue's CLues. That was a BAD career move. He was kind of a dumbass, but I miss him. I would never leave my puppy like that. Guess how much I've had to drink tonight? I don't know! The clues were always behind him, and he never knew enough to turn around and look. What is that bump on my arm? Ohmygod, I wonder how that got there. Somethign bit me. Damn bugs. I hate 'em. I hate 'em all. Should I go to bed? Probably, we're supposed to work on cars tomorrow. Today. Whatever. But I bet he's not getting up until afternoon either, he never does, unless the kids are jumping on him. They know not to do that with me and Leesah!

Whoops, I just fell out of my chair. It's okay folks, I'm back up in it now. This desk looks awfully comfortable. The computer hurts my eyes, especially when I bang my face on it. THAT'S going to leave a mark.

Ohmygod, what's a blog?

What am I supposed to do with this now? Is this like email? Ohmygod. I need another drink. I can't possibly do this without another drink. And a cheeseburger!